A family is much more important that you think.
Family is your best investment.
Hello friends, I’m having a free time today, I slept all afternoon, I had two cups of coffee now and I encouraged myself to do this post that I have been doing for a while.
I posted here that my monthly expenses were around U$2,700.
Of course, guys fell on the stick: “Ah is it Frugal and spends U$2,700 monthly? I see.”
Yes friends, among the explanations I said that of these U$ 2,700 -> U$ 500 were donations and 95% of this is for my family (father and mother, and eventually brothers)
That is, my own expense is U$ 2,200 with my own house, no mortgage, and car with no loans.
As you know, the current divorce rate in Brazil is 50%. Millions and millions of children grow up in unstructured homes without a father or mother or both in the home. If you were fortunate enough to have been brought up in a good family environment with a father and mother together and united within the same household, you do not know how lucky you were to have it.
When my parents separated the low income of the house collapsed even more and things got much worse, almost always when divorce in a poor family the income for everyone falls, it is impressive. Of course, if 5 people lived in a house and now we have 5 people for two houses, someone will have to pay for the second house (rent + bills). Once when things got worse, we had 5 people in 5 houses (all horrible by the way) and/or living in the house of others, which made things worse.
If you want to read more about me, see this: http://frugalsimple.net/about-the-author/
In a family with 5 people living in the same house, everyone can work, help, improve the house, furniture, food, bills and so on. As some people leave the house and the total income of the group remains the same, it worsens for everyone, this is the first concept, the standard of living falls for everyone, and when a standard of living falls for a child this is horrible because She loses access to a better education/colleges / sports / English, a lot of that goes to the bag, for me everything went to the bag and I went to a city center public school, a very good center, a tent on the street, 80 buses In the street at once, crowded people that lacked even sidewalk to tread.
But why do I say this? Not just me or me, I’m just exemplifying a reality. Unstructured families almost inevitably lead to ruin and poverty forever, because uneducated children will not be able to help themselves in the future, nor even help their parents, much less their own children (who should not have but will have to be ignorant), Are the contingencies of life.
By chance and after much struggle, blood and sweat, my brother and I managed to overcome poverty, each in his own way, an entrepreneur, a civil servant, and I who always made many beaks and I jump to today. For you to have an idea, my parents to this day have no house of their own and will not even have, they will die paying rent (the children actually paying). My father still had other children out of wedlock and is already married to another and with more children. So look at this spiral of endless poverty and ignorance.
But Frugal wants to explain the post? How to invest in the family?
Guys, the family is no joke. Do you know a people I like and admire a lot? The Jewish people.
Everyone knows that some 4,000 years ago these people suffer a damned peril to have a roof and stop being harassed, which is why they come to work and save a lot and maintain family relationships. In fact, historical rates of divorce among Jews have always been lower than those of Catholics, evangelicals, and atheists. Nowadays they are at 30%, the rest of the population of Catholics, evangelicals, and atheists is above 50% without significant differences between the groups.
A Jewish proverb I like very much is “If your family is well, you are well.” It’s a deep phrase. Think about it, write it down. It’s no use hiding from family or family problems, one hour the bill will arrive.
When I say “Invest in the family” what do you think? Throw money up for the family to catch? No, not at all.
First let’s make something clear here, for me, the family is a more nuclear thing, my uncles and distant cousins do not impact me much, do what they do in their lives. For me, my family is a father, mother, and brothers (who were raised with me). Score. I am not one of those who will form or marry and call 300 people of the family that see once a year or so.
Second, think hard before you build a family, before you marry, before you have a child (or have MORE CHILDREN), or think hard before separating.
I can tell that your family is your more precious asset, your best investment. Always you can think family best investment.
If you marry, marry someone more or less of your intellectual level, who has your values, who thinks like you and who supports you in your plans, who is not a consumer, who does not value many futile and superfluous things. Riding a family with someone like that is going to be a hell of a job and there will be a lot of fights over money.
And speaking of money, man can stop making money, can break, can get unemployed, and car and apartment that are not his, but the bank, can be taken. A pretty woman can get ugly, today’s hottie may be the monster of tomorrow. So getting married for money or for beauty can be a beautiful divorce prescription.
The longer you take to get married, the longer the marriage can result in a long-lasting marriage, the early marriage separates early, and breaks early. The more you postpone children, the more resources you will have to educate them (this saves you before), the more you have children, the more they will compete with each other for their scarce resources (if you have a child sometimes you can put In private school, if you have two or three children, it is more difficult, and what about judo, English, exchange, etc.)? It’s much harder. Son is not a gift, nor a gift of nature, even a turtle makes a son, nature is indifferent to him and does not want to give him anything, son is a natural phenomenon resulting from the encounter of gametes. Son is a fucking responsibility and a fucking commitment to personal, professional, marital and financial life. It’s a pity that the vast majority of people do not realize this and have a child like cats. But this is our reality and we have to work with it.
But Frugal, how am I going to invest in my family?
First of all, just put one together if you want AND HOPE, knowing you will have a serious duty and commitment. Family, just like a lot of things in life, it’s not for everyone, you can be a crazy fucking single-minded person all your life and be happy anyway, no one is forced to raise a family, you do not have to marry to have sex either. A man who works and has money can date and have sex, or else pay for it. And for women, it’s even easier, although it’s always difficult to socialize to be single and to have sex with anyone, but in our world and the truth be told, it’s always easier for a woman to get laid than for a man.
After that, do something simple, be faithful to your wife or husband. It’s quite simple. If you married or had a child, be faithful. This is how our culture works. If you do not want to be faithful you do not have to get married, you can have 18 girlfriends. If you have the child, make sure you have money to provide it with the basics, private education, private health, housing, clothing, and leisure. Remember that no one is obligated to anything, nor to dating you are obliged (I am speaking in the masculine because 90% of the readers of the blog are men).
And why are you going to invest in your child? Are you going to pay him a good college? Yes, because if it does not work out in life, you’ll end up with a bearded, fat, communist 40-year-old at your house drinking your beer, eating your meat and asking you to pay for his health insurance and pension His grandson, otherwise he will be arrested. When you do not invest well in your child’s education, the account in the future will come to you, you will have to support the daughter-in-law, the grandchildren and the vagabond you created in a bad way will make a house above yours (a first floor) or A house in your backyard to slam you to the end of your days. So speaking well selfishly, invest well in your child so that he has a good income in the future and does not have to be asking for money or dreaming about the day of his death for him to win the inheritance (eventually they speed up this process).
“It’s Frugal … I have two nephews in public school, I have no children, I could pay a school for them at least …”
Pay. Nephews when they go wrong, your brothers will be asking for help later, or money or they can simply leave their children with you, and worse, at a later stage in life. School ends in an instant, for those who will live 80 years, to pay 15 years in a good school to be people throughout life until it is not so bad.
Your elderly parents: If you did not get well in life who will have to support you (as is my case). Often times you can not afford to invest in your parents so they have more autonomy, depending on their age and limitation, but you can help with advice, books, changes in lifestyle, setting the example, setting up a small business for them , Paying a few courses, or even an academy, an aqua gym, to improve the quality of life of your parents so that they get well and you feel a little better, after all, life is not just about putting money in the bag. Values, you have to provide who you love and this is fact, you will not let your mom or dad starve you, right?
I pay financially for my parents’ mistakes until today and until their death. And this for me was already a great lesson in life and finances. Remember that your children may not have the money to pay for their mistakes and in fact, they probably will not have it ever, so if you mess up a lot today, you may die miserable in the gutter in a few decades, abandoned and dirty like a Road dog
Investing in family unity, the educational background of children and/or nephews can save you a lot of money in the future. Orient your siblings on contraception, direct your nephews, your children, make them use a condom, IUD, pill and whatever, do not let a teenager be a parent in your family, everyone can suffer brutal consequences because of it. Teenage pregnancy is one of the evils of humanity. Do not try to stop others from having sex, in addition to not being able to make a fool of yourself, because people do sex, even if your 15-year-old daughter or your child do sex at that age, it is better to guide and check the contraceptive method.
It may sound mushy but come on, at least for you not to say that no one ever told you:
1. Only marry someone who will add in your life. The more you put off the better. To have children have financial reserves and conditions to create. If you only have the money and time to create one, just have one.
2. Marry be faithful and work for the well-being of the marriage. Studies show that most American millionaires remain married, divorce is the cause of injury and breakdown. Remember Warren Buffet, Luis Stuhlbeger, Flavio Augusto, fucking guys, rich, well-married and married to the first wife, always.
Ah, but why be faithful? Can not I take a little break?
Friend, I say to be faithful, because the more unfaithful the greater the possibility of being discovered and the marriage will end. It’s all a matter of statistics, do not fight beautiful mathematics. And if you’re a man and the woman proves in court that you’ve been unfaithful, you’re totally chipped, and if the judge is a woman you’ll just walk out of your underwear to die of cheap beer on the old bus station in your town and take a stab at the end. I have a colleague who, just talking about the loss of wealth, starts to cry like a child. If you want to be unfaithful and try your luck, good luck, a simple sex night can cost you thousands of dollars, years lost from your work life, not to mention the morals you lose in front of the whole family and your co-workers, and Of the children … if you destroy your house because of a fuck and your children know this, pray to them to forgive you, some never forgive.
3. If you can afford a good school or a little school for nephews and children, pay. Education is not spent, it is an investment. They will always be grateful to you. Make sure your siblings will not have any more children. If possible take them to the doctor for vasectomy and or IUD implantation or tubal ligation, whatever. Do not help those who do not help and obey you. You do not have to be a sucker. People who receive favors must learn to reciprocate and obey.
It may seem silly in these postmodern and ultra-sexual times, but did you know that you can be happy by being faithful, having loved, well-bred children who love you and respect you and still have millions in investments and live well forever? Think about it!
It’s hard to know this, but the mainstream nowadays wants to see families destroyed, corrupted, shattered. You have to resist it. Use your intelligence, your conscious choice, your mind, your own will, and your financial-mathematical logic to weigh risk and return to certain events. Never lose your rationality. When you abandon your rational self you are finished.
P.S.: I am not a Jew, I am not a Catholic, I am not a Christian, I am nothing, I do not believe in any kind of god or anything supernatural, but certain things do not have to be written in religious books to make sense.